And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
