I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
