That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've blown a few things in my day
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
