I just threw up on my dentist
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
