She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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