There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
