Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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