OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
