You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
