New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
