she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
A bitchslap is in order.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
