Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
