You smell like stripper and shame
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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