i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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