Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
