Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
