I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
