Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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