party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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