Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't deserve a penis
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
