I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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