I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
