Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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