His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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