Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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