As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
