seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
