with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
