oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
