And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
