I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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