Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
