I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
