Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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