woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
