Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
