how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
