He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
