there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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