Dual....:-)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
