great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
