Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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