Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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