Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
send nudes
from the living room?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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