WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
