found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i think my cat just said my name.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
