I just made out with a guy for $7.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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