i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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