I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
