ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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