The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
